


Changes

by Vipersweb (Rhianona)



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-11
Updated: 2006-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-08 22:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/79960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhianona/pseuds/Vipersweb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Change comes quietly to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes

It took a while for the crew of the Galactica to see the change in their star pilot. When she first returned from Caprica, she had seemed more subdued, but many chalked it up to seeing the nuked out wasteland that it had become and returning to finding the entire Fleet in chaos. Those who had been on Galactica the longest suspected she had taken the near death of the Old Man hard; they knew how close the two of them were, though none knew the reason for it. It was one more facet of the mysterious Starbuck.

Kara had returned from Caprica, but she had left a part of her heart behind. Karl said she now had something to live for, not just die for. She suspected he was wrong. The only time she felt alive now was when she was in the cockpit of her Viper.

Or kissing Lee. That was the most frakked up aspect of it all. She could not get in a relationship with lee – did not want to risk their friendship for a frak. So she pushed him away the only way she could. Too bad it had hurt so frakking much. No, Kara knew she didn't have much to live for and certainly had enough to die for, but it seemed that the Gods didn't see fit to let her go just yet.

And so she lived.

The pilots were the first to realize she had changed. She had always been one for some alcohol, but never as much as when she returned, certainly never so much as to give the XO a run for his money. Some brave souls started a betting pool as to when she would surpass the XO as the ship's resident alcoholic.

Then she stopped drinking. She started avoiding Apollo. No longer were the two joined at the hip. The pilots didn't know what to make of that and when Lee started seeing Dee, many lamented the end of their "when will Apollo and Starbuck finally give in to their lust" pool. They notice that Starbuck starts to leave the room when Lee and Dee enter, and some start to wonder if they acted too quickly in ending their pool. Starbuck is acting like the ex-girlfriend of Apollo. They wonder until Kat and Hot Dog report a conversation they overhead between Kara and Karl, about some guy that Kara left behind on Caprica and how much she loved him and even though she knew he was dead, she couldn't help but want to return for him. Because she promised. Then the pilots don't know what to think.

Helo is the first to sense something deeper in Kara's withdrawal. He finally gets her to sit down and talk and he is shocked at the depth of feeling she has for the man she once referred to as a big frakking dipstick. Kara smiles bitterly at Karl at the end and says "Stupid. Knew I could never have the happy ending." Karl doesn't know what to say and then Apollo comes in and Kara shuts down.

Lee, for his part, doesn't seem to notice the change. Truthfully, he doesn't know what to make of Kara. She came back from Caprica quiet and he thinks she is still feeling the effects of going AWOL and coming back to a fractured Fleet. He knows she left some guy behind – typical Kara (her ability to find a good frak under any circumstances had certainly not changed!) – and he knows she tried to use him as a substitution for the guy. What he has yet to realize is that Kara needs him more than ever. But he respects the wall she puts up between them (or is too tired to try and break them down) and leave her be. He turns to Dee because she is safe and uncomplicated. He finds it easier to leave Kara alone and knows he's a coward, but he can't deal with her and her emotions. Not anymore. And then he is transferred to the Pegasus and whenever he is on Galactica, his time is spent in meetings or with Dee.

When Lee is promoted to Commander of Pegasus, Kara smiles and toasts him, ignoring the kiss he has for Dee. She shoulders all the responsibilities he had on Galactica and if she is not fun anymore, the pilots know better than to say anything.

Cally is the first to notice that Starbuck is just going through the motions, doing what needs to be done. She is the first to realize that Kara is lost. She doesn't know who to go to. If Apollo was still on board, she would just tell him; but he's not. She finally tells Helo.

Karl catches Kara in the CAG's office, where she spend most of her time when she is not flying CAP, or teaching the nuggets, or doing a shift in the CIC or in maintenance. "Want to talk about it?" he asks. Kara looks at him and he thinks she'll say something when she is paged to the Admiral's office. "Later?" he asks, looking at her and seeing the truth in Cally's words. Kara is dangerously close to breaking and he doesn't know if he can pull her back. He takes comfort in her small nod of agreement, before she straightens her uniform and leaves.

When Helo sees her next, it's to hear about the rescue mission to Caprica. She looks happy, but he suspects she is forcing it, because it is expected of her. She had pushed and pushed for the rescue of the Resistance and now, the Old Man and the President had agreed to it. He sighs, and promises to come with her. He needs a purpose too, now that his daughter is dead.

When they leave for Caprica, Helo knows nothing good can come from it. He hopes that Anders is still alive and can bring his friend back to life. He suspects it may be too late.


End file.
